Top 10 Things Not to Say to Newly Minted ALJ

1. You'd look better without the robe.

2. Can I buy you lunch? I'd like to give you the 411 on your Hearing Office.

3. You don't know anything about disability, do you? I know a lot. Pay attention.

4. This is one job you can't get by sleeping around. Or can you?

5. Here's a box of my business cards. Give a card to any unrepresented claimant who appears before you.

6. Did you learn anything at "ALJ school" other than the per diem amount? [snicker] "ALJ school" [snort], what a joke.

7. Can I copy your "ALJ school" materials?

8. Just a minute. Just wait. This is how I like to conduct cross-examination.

9. The Appeals Council does not allow that. You can't do that.

10. I thought that affirmative action was illegal.